What I used to be so scared of.

I’m going to  be very vulnerable here.  

bible_beater_tshirt-r9785c201f5644a8f9ed5d159bc660dc6_8naxt_324I am terrified to be labeled a “bible beater.”  This fear started when I was young, like many fears do.  I allowed this irrational fear to direct many of my choices.  Who my friends were, who I was seen with, and who I would and would not date were all dictated by my fears.  My fear even affected big decisions.  For instance, I spent years dreaming of attending Baylor University, but I decided to enroll at Texas Christian University because Baylor’s reputation was more heavily laden with Texas-Christian-University-logoChristian culture than TCU.


calvary-154395_640I grew up going to church and was active in youth group programs.  I even sang in the youth band,  and was well known for this in my community.  

Looking back, I realize at some point I became obsessed with appearing however I felt I should for whoever I was around at the time.  I desperately wanted to be assoicated with Christianity and Christian principles, as long as I didn’t have to sacrifice being liked.

I’m no longer concerned with being liked in the way I used to be.  I am very open with my faith, and I am megaphone-155780_640proud to tell others about my faith, whoever they are.  My concern now lies in being  grouped in with the Christians who give Jesus a bad name by protesting Planned Parenthood clinics, screaming gay-hate, and spewing all kinds of venom about following out dated religious doctrine that would make Jesus himself cringe.


Why the heck am I telling you this?  When I started blogging, I was doing product reviews for Influenster.  Although I still plan on writing a blog that includes product reviews, book reviews, and parenting advice, primarily my posts will be more Jesus-centered.  I find product reviews to be tedious and boring to write, but on occasion I don’t mind them.

Last summer I wrote a post that included blogging advice and a posting schedule here.  I won’t be following that anymore.  During my 6 months away from blogging I took time to focus on determining a direction for my blog, and God just kept speaking to me that I need to give Him everything, which includes my blog.  It’s His anyway, not mine.

I considered starting over with a new blog, but I have some awesome readers, and I don’t want to lose them.  My goal here isto give insight, encouragement, strength, and support with what I write.  

Love you all!!

What are you fearful of?  In what ways has this affected your life?

Come say hi!: Facebook  Twitter  Pinterest  Instagram YouTube Tumblr



27 thoughts on “What I used to be so scared of.

  1. Bible beater!? I have never heard that term before. I went to catholic school and the public kids who call us “bible thumpers”… I completely understand the whole “crazy Christian” thing. People immediately group you in with them as really they are the most predominant public figures. Regardless of my beliefs on those issues, I believe it is for God to judge on judgement day. Not for us to essentially publicly crucify them

  2. I can really relate to this post. It’s amazing how we can get so caught up in appearances instead of focusing on what is truly important: Our relationship with Christ. I have definitely been through that struggle and have even lost my way because of it. The beauty of it all is that God will still accept us, shortcomings and all. Though I don’t encourage straying, the feeling that I felt when I came to my senses and approached the Throne was indescribable. Thank you so much for this post and thank you for following my blog as well. I was sure to return the favor!

    ~Your Fellow Bookworm~

  3. Praise The Lord that you came back from astray 🙂 this was an excellent post that I know many can relate to. I pray for us all to be that light as many will need to see as we face darker days with so many things taking place around the world.

    Christ wants us to be that salt and light to shine for him, to be and make disciples to further his kingdom.

    I can tell that with him and yourself, this blog will help do that very thing.

    I’m glad to be following you and your efforts to further the goals you outlined above. Have a wonderful and blessed evening!

  4. I’m always amazed when people find my blog and follow me. So I checked yours out and was drawn in by this post. I was a non-believer for years and years, so I’m always cautious how much to say because I remember how I tuned crazy Christians out! I also remember saying to one of my sisters who walked with me during my transition time, “I don’t want to even be in the same group as some of those nut cases.”
    I guess now I’m a nutcase too. But I still think we need to interact with care and care about how we are perceived. God called us to love, not judge. And we all have sins — none of which are worse than any other. And No One wants to hear that….
    Thanks for the follow. I look forward to reading more from you.
    Right back at ‘ya.

  5. Awesome post and very authentic – this is exactly why I don’t see myself as a Christian anymore – I am a disciple of Christ – Christians have done terrible things in the name of Christianity and it devastates me too and I in no way want to fall in under that. I know when Father God starts working on our thinking like He is on yours -it is just the beginning of a whole new direction. So I am very happy you found me – thank you for the follow – and now I can be part of your journey too. Be blessed as you get bolder – and yes – that has also been one of my fears – being bold and then being hated for it – but I have realised that my relationship with Yeshua means more to me than the response from others and I have to be true to Him first – He will give me the strength to face the rest.
    Be blessed!

  6. As long as you remain true to your belief and take every opportunity to speak out against those who give your personal faith a bad press, you have done all you can. There is no shame to be had in strength of conviction.

  7. This is an interesting post, although I am not actually a Christian I adhere to my faith very strongly. I often feel strange around people who don’t practise as I do, they keep me at arms length like I’m going to shame them, which I don’t. I think they feel guilty. People tend to pick and choose what they like about religion. That’s wrong. With my religion there is no median, you either are or aren’t.

    • I agree. Christians especially love to pick out bible verses like they are fortunes inside a cookie. With Christianity, there is so much involved in our attitude towards others, that if you aren’t fully involved with your faith then you may as well be in the “aren’t” category. Thank you so much for taking the time to engage in this comment thread, even though you have different beliefs!

  8. Very transparent. That’s brave of you. I can relate to a degree. I wasn’t born again until I was 20 and five years later felt called into the ministry. My first 7 or 8 years in ministry were influenced by a circle of Christians who were less than gracious and I was that way myself until God allowed me to see the error of the performance based Christianity. I praise him regularly for allowing me to realize his unconditional and perfect love that he has for all humanity. He loves me in spite of me. Wow! Who am I to do any less to others? That being said, I no longer allow anyone but Jesus or anything but the Bible to influence me in regards to ministry. I no longer allow intimidation to determine the direction I take. It is so important that we allow the Holy Spirit to use us and when we put up parameters, we limit what God can do in our lives. God bless you.

  9. great post, girl! love the authenticity — Jesus loves to use that :). thanks, too, for following my blog; you’re super encouraging! (and a little side note, my girl is already bleeding purple wanting to go to TCU — she’s in, but we need huge scholarships. God thing, right? ;)) have a fabulous day!

    • TCU is really expensive, I hope y’all are able to work it out, God willing! I only went for a semester (I was definitely not in a good place emotionally and spiritually) but I learned a lot from my time there. I went to community college after that and started straightening back out. Wish I had stayed at TCU though, there are a lot of great people there, it’s a wonderful school! Best of luck to her!!

  10. I’ve just recently started reading your blog, is very good. Just so you know I do not claim to be a writer in any fashion yet the Lord seems to have me writing quite often. I’m also a pastor, and what you’ve written talked tremendous courage. Don’t worry about what people think about you or your writing, just please Jesus and you will be fine. Actually you will be more than fine, you will be amazing. Just obey God, that’s all any of us can really do. Everything starts with Him and ends with Him, when that happens He gets what He deserves, glory. You never know who you may reach with your writing. One day someone might stumble on your blog and read what you’ve written and the get free, or saved because of God speaking thru you to their hearts.

    • Thank you for your kind and encouraging worods John! Comments like this really uplift me and strengthen me.
      If God has you writing all the time, you’re a writer. If you are a writer or not is up to you. You don’t have to be a GREAT writer to start calling yourself that. It’s a reflection of what your personal perception of yourself that you say you aren’t a writer. If you want a more practical test besides just trying to call yourself a writer…try quiting. If you can’t or find you miss it, you are a writer.
      My gut tells me you are one, which is why I’m taking the time explaining it. Just because you are good at public speaking, doesn’t mean you can’t also be good at writing 🙂 Maybe God is getting you ready for something new 🙂 Thanks again and God bless you Pastor John!

Any thoughts? Please Comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s